It's now almost 4 months later and I am still in the same place. I've talked to people, spun my wheels, and have had the door slammed in my face more times than I'd care to count. I come across good on paper, but not so great in person, I've learned. I babble and I don't express myself well. Not good on my feet.
I have not treated myself with kindness. Feel guity when I do something "nice" for myself. Feel like I don't deserve it. Feel panicked most of the time. Wake up in the middle of the night, grinding my teeth and feeling like I'm going crazy. Eat way too much junk food, too.
I find it interesting how some people manage to walk into jobs, even after taking ten freaking years off. I've been working the whole time, yet I seem to be supremely underqualified to do really anything in my field.
Speaking of which, I really don't know why I chose this field in the first place. Really wish I'd done something different. Feels like it is too late now.
I am almost always sad. Not good.
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